Great short film called Johnny Express. This Delivery Guy Who Makes Amazon Look Like a Well-Oiled Machine
Imagine if your Amazon delivery driver had the work ethic of a toddler after a sugar crash and the situational awareness of a goldfish. That’s Johnny. Johnny is a space delivery man, but let’s be clear: calling him a “man” is generous, and calling what he does “delivery” is an insult to the entire logistics industry. This guy’s only ambition in life is to nap his way through the cosmos while his autopilot spaceship does all the hard work. But when it comes time to actually deliver the package, things go so spectacularly wrong you’d think the universe itself was trolling him.
In “Johnny Express”, an animated short film, our hero (if we’re using the term loosely) travels from planet to planet delivering packages to various alien civilizations. Sounds simple, right? It’s not. Because Johnny’s unique skill set consists of walking, breathing, and accidentally committing galactic genocide. He’s like the Mr. Magoo of space delivery, obliviously causing more destruction in five minutes than an asteroid on a bad day.
Take one of his “deliveries,” for example. Johnny lands on a planet, cracks open his spaceship door, and starts bumbling around looking for the recipient. The problem? The aliens on this planet are microscopic. Johnny, in his infinite laziness, doesn’t notice that his every step is obliterating entire cities. He doesn’t see the skyscrapers collapsing under his boot or the mass evacuations happening because—shocker—Johnny is too busy yawning. It’s like watching Godzilla deliver an Amazon package, except somehow less organized.
And here’s the kicker: Johnny never realizes what he’s done. He drops the package, shrugs, and hops back into his spaceship for another nap while the alien civilization he just ruined stares in collective disbelief. The film ends, and you’re left wondering: is Johnny the most destructive force in the universe, or is he just the reason FedEx exists?
Kyungmin Woo’s “Johnny Express” is a comedic masterpiece. It’s a scathing critique of laziness, incompetence, and the dangers of hiring the cheapest courier in the galaxy. But more than that, it’s a reminder that sometimes, the worst disasters don’t come from evil masterminds or interstellar wars—they come from a guy who just wants to go back to sleep. And honestly? We’ve all worked with a Johnny.
So, if you’re ever thinking of hiring a space delivery guy, here’s my advice: spring for the intergalactic Amazon Prime. Because the next time Johnny shows up at your planet, you’ll want insurance. Lots of it.
