PB&J Comfort Food for Every Generation
We have assembled here today, ladies and gentlemen, to chew over the most urgent matter of the day—peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. As per this infographic from Smucker’s, 30% of Americans Anoint PB&J as The. Ultimate. Comf. Food. That’s right. Not steak, not a home-cooked meal, not something that requires even a modicum of effort. Somehow, the (the) preferred choice is two slices of bread smeared with sugar paste and crushed legumes. This.
The Millennials Generation That Tries Too Hard
The infographic happily declares that PB&J enjoys the fervent affection of not just the Millennial generation but this “trendsetting” cohort too (“Millennials Make”). It wholeheartedly embraces the “40 percent of Millennials who say they are nuts for fried chicken” and the “35 percent who can’t get enough of donuts.” It revels in the “not-so-subtle fact” of Millennial obsession with “anything pickled,” going on to berate this generation “for still needing mom to help make them a sandwich.” Indeed, it chides Millennials for having “been propped up by the generation that came before it” and for in turn having “propped up the economy.”
Parents Have Become Overworked PB&J Dealers
Let’s discuss parents. Thirty percent of parents state they consume PB&J while preparing it for their children. This indicates to me two things: First, parents are so pressed for time they can’t even prepare a proper meal. Second, they use their children as a pretext for eating a sandwich meant for very young people. The most recent data also reveal that 57% of dads pack PB&J for lunch (probably because it was either that or a burned grilled cheese). When it comes to peanut butter, 70% of parents always use it on their kids’ sandwiches, which should be 100%. If you’re slathering almond butter on a PB&J, you’ve already lost at life.
Boomers Nostalgia in Sandwich Form
Gen Xers have an entirely different take. Sixty percent of them say they prefer the sandwich made with peanut butter and jelly; only 20% of Gen Xers opt for other spreads. In a world where everything is sibling rivalry, it’s worth pointing out that Gen X consumes slightly more peanut butter per capita than Boomers. When asked which brand of peanut butter is their fave, 81% of Gen Xers in the survey said Jif. Only 7% said Skippy.
Jelly is The Sweet Lie That Binds it All Together
Let’s discuss the basic ingredients. The jelly that most Americans prefer is strawberry (34%); grape (32%) comes in a close second. Both are essentially jars of liquefied sugar passing themselves off as fruit. As for “new favorite flavors,” I’m not sure who the infographic is trying to appeal to. The absurdity of suggesting flavors like peach, raspberry, or blackberry for use on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich has Potluck Impressive Moment written all over it.
Peanut Butter is The Only Thing Holding This Together
An overwhelming majority, 68%, of Americans plump for creamy peanut butter, leaving crunchy as little more than a garnish. This means that most people want their peanut butter sandwiches to be easy to consume while they do something else, pulping the sandwich to a near-liquid state even as it may also be a near-dougnut hole of flavor, stuffed with an ingredient that is really not contributing much, either texturally or taste-wise. Crunchy peanut butter cannot be a casual food. If you eat it in a rush, you may choke. Also, you may as well be eating nuts in the delicious and nutty context of trail mix.
Bread is The Weak Foundation
It is astonishing that 40% of Americans say white bread is the best for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Of course, this choice doesn’t exactly pack in the vitamins or minerals. And honestly, who doesn’t picture a half-suffocated P.B. when you think of that insipid, floury stuff that, when mixed with saliva, turns into paste? The bar graph puts forth many alternatives to this mind-boggling choice. Honey wheat, for example. There is nothing bad about honey wheat, except that it really is better for making a sandwich that isn’t more than 50% of the tastiest nut butter around.
The Travel Food That Requires No Skill
Travel food suits the vehicle as much as the person inside it. Road food should be eaten with one hand and won’t spoil if left unrefrigerated. It shouldn’t require utensils. It should be as easy to clean up after as it is to eat. If PB&J fulfills those criteria, what is it failing to do that is making people call it “the ultimate travel food”?
The Final Verdict and The Cult of PB&J
We have more than an infographic here. We have a disturbing look into the very heart of America. What we have is not simply a movement toward harmful meals; it’s a symptom of a larger public health crisis and a fundamental undermining of a slow food renaissance that has already begun in many parts of the country. With this “glimpse into the state of America,” we are being shown a future where even more people are going to even more hospitals and being prescribed even more medications.
Peanut butter and jelly is okay. It’s practical. But the way it’s being pushed up as some sort of nursery food for grown-ups should worry everyone. If this is what we are banding together over, then we might have a problem as a country.
